I went to your theme park yesterday and barely escaped with my life! Of course, I came for the thrills (and wanting to see Shrek) but I certainly got more than I bargained for.
First of all, we rode the Jurassic Park ride. I loved the movie and really looked forward to seeing some dinosaurs. Don't get me wrong, in the beginning it was wonderful. So many beautiful creatures, genteel, sweet and a few were adorably mischievous. But the, something went horribly wrong. What started as a relaxing boat ride turned into a watery nightmare! Somehow the dinosaurs got loose or someone fell asleep at his post (is more like it) and it was chaos. We were chased by a T-Rex! A T-Rex! And no one, not one single Universal Studios Theme Park California worker came to help or even tried to help. And I don't doubt for a second that they heard our screams. What kind of service is that? We narrowly escaped due to an EXTREMELY LUCKY dip in the boat track. As we disembarked, MORE PEOPLE WERE LOADING THE BOATS!!! We tried to warn them and no one listened, they just shuffled us off through the gift shop. We couldn't believe it. Hey, Universal Studios Theme Park, don't come crying to me when you get sued. You have a dinosaur infestation and something needs to be done about it.
We proceeded (looking back, not a good idea) to ride a few more rides. And on each one, SOMETHING WENT HORRIBLY WRONG!!! Was it us? Were we there on a bad day? Are we simply unlucky? The Mummy didn't take us on a fun romp through the desert. Instead, a demon tried to steal our souls. We went to the Special Effects studio, and again, something went horribly wrong. A monster got loose and another customer was killed. I don't know him, I'll leave it to his family to write a letter, and possibly press charges, but still, I don't think this is good business. We even rode the sweet little tram ride. I love movies, I wanted to go behind the scenes. And, guess what? SOMETHING WENT HORRIBLY WRONG! Don't you service these rides periodically?
What if this gets out? What if the papers get wind of this? I don't think you'll be selling any more $35 tickets if people learn how dangerous your park can be.
Look, everyone has a bad day. It's a big park and I'm sure it's difficult to maintain all things at all times. I just don't see how you can stay in business when so many things keep going horribly wrong. I wish you luck.
P.S. Due to emotional trauma suffered at the park, I do feel my friend Josh and I deserve a complimentary season pass. Or at least two free tickets. Or at least some funnel cake. Please respond.
Universal Studios, Universal City; open daily; $62 (Southern California residents); universalstudios.com.