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Miami New Times
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Monty's has been an institution in the 305 for as long as most locals can remember. It once dominated the chi-chi restaurant scene but then lost its luster after real gourmands moved to town. This is not to say dinner at Monty's is akin to eating at Applebee's, but it's pretty close and definitely more expensive -- a hot dog goes for $7. Probably to offset the loss of patrons, Monty's caters to the drinking crowd. Indeed, it has become a frequent hangout for those who like to unwind after work and on weekends without having to deal with insane parking or long lines. In spite of that, you can still get more substantial fare here too. Among the most popular menu items are the lobster shrimp roll ($16) and the ribs ($23). Crab claws ($34) are also a favorite and vary by season -- October 15 to May 15 for Florida stone crabs and May 16 through October 14 for Jonahs. The service and food are OK but overpriced.
Listen to live music on Fridays from 5-11 p.m., Saturdays from 2-11 p.m., and Sundays from 4-8 p.m.
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Sometimes you just want to kill everyone in Miami. The traffic, the sweating, the general idiocy.Cool down there, chief. You need to get your ass to Monty's. Enjoy a quiet beer on the water's edge. Stare out past the marina and watch the ships go by. Contemplate the vastness of the ocean and the insignificance of your worries.Or order a bucket load of margaritas and a half-dozen oysters, get yourself good and drunk, and giggle at the people getting their scuba certification in the swimming pool. They look like little seals!Soak up the sweet abandon of faux island tunes being pounded out on the keyboard by the guy in the Hawaiian shirt. No need to get angry. Life is but a Jimmy Buffett song.
Having heard the harrowing experiences of two very good friends, both food service professionals, I wouldn't even consider pulling into their parking lot. The physical presentation was nice enough but the barmaid and the manager seemed to be in cahoots in ripping off customers. Four cocktails paid for and generously paid for in cash with a generous tip at each service - the sign of a restaurant professional ;-) - when they decided to move on Lo and Behold! The bar maid (wench?) claimed that their bill was unpaid. The manager was called over and he utterly refused to hear their side of the story and threatened them with calling the police! Again professionals, they reiterated their case despite knowing in their hearts that the cash previously collected never made it to the cash register tape. The police were called and having no option other than jail they paid the bogus bar charges yet again. If you MUST go to this clip joint, use plastic and be able to document the theft.
Axiom No. 1: If it's delicious, it's ten times more delicious rolled in breading and deep-fried.Axiom No. 2: If it's seafood, it's ten times better when you're sitting on the waterfront.Conclusion: Conch fritters at Monty's are 100 times better than any other kind of conch anywhere else.Don't believe in science? Just add it up yourself. There aren't too many joints left in South Florida with Monty's vibe -- a thatched roof covering a huge outdoor deck, right on the yacht-choked... More »
Sometimes you just want to kill everyone in Miami. The traffic, the sweating, the general idiocy.Cool down there, chief. You need to get your ass to Monty's. Enjoy a quiet beer on the water's edge. Stare out past the marina and watch the ships go by. Contemplate the vastness of the ocean and the insignificance of your worries.Or order a bucket load of margaritas and a half-dozen oysters, get yourself good and drunk, and giggle at the people getting their scuba certification in the swimming... More »
Miami, not known for its raw-bar diversity, nonetheless has had a stalwart purveyor in this restaurant and its sister in Coconut Grove. But the South Beach locale usually plays second fiddle to the Grove location in the popular imagination. We don't know why. The South Beach spot is wonderfully situated on the water by the Miami Beach Marina, a perfect place to catch a sunset. And this spot doesn't disappoint the tradition of raw bars as a happy-hour destination. From 4:00 to 8:00 p.m. a... More »
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