Way back in 1948, at the first Marie Callendar's in Long Beach, Calif., the restaurant's namesake knew a thing or two about making pie. But that was, like, 300 years ago. Today, Marie is really ConAgra Foods, Inc., where pie is created with god knows what chemical bi-products. Then they ship the slop to Seattle, where unsuspecting old people think it's "homemade." It ain't. The rest of the menu is corporate-sponsored family food, with good ol' breakfast, lunch and dinner market-tested, price-optimized and dumbed-down to satisfy the shareholders. On the plus side, you can get booze.
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