Dallas Comedy House Open Mic 

Has life turned out the way you planned? Do you see the absurdity of the daily hubbub but stay silent and limp, like a human slug just waiting to be salted? Maybe you should channel all of those observations into stand-up comedy. More than just a coping mechanism like booze and pills, stand-up comedy builds confidence and teaches you how to get to the point of a story. It also teaches you which fabrics stain easiest when pelted with rancid vegetables, and what your emotional snap point is with hecklers. All valuable knowledge. If you’re not ready to take the stage just yet, that’s OK. Attending open mic night is a comedy gateway drug, like marijuana or angel dust. (That was such a dated reference. Do kids still smoke marijuana?) After you spend a few Tuesdays lurking around Dallas Comedy House knocking back a $4 Jack Daniel’s, you’ll be prepared to hop to the stage and drop your comedic knowledge on any stragglers willing to listen. Just don’t wear polyester; you’ll never get the tomato stains out. Open-mic comedy takes place every Tuesday at Dallas Comedy House at 2645 Commerce St., and is free. Visit dallascomedyhouse.com. — By Jamie Laughlin

Price: Free