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The overriding philosophy of topless strip club chain Christie’s Cabaret seems to be that bigger is, indeed, better. All three of its Valley locations dwarf competitors in terms of venue size and revenue alone, serving as the sand-kicking 900-pound heavyweight to everyone else’s pipsqueak runt. Then there’s the chain’s enormous emphasis on unrivaled opulence and posh amenities, illustrated by the multimillion-dollar lavish design of the East Phoenix location at 32nd Street and Van Buren. Imputed Italian marble tile covered every square inch of the 19,000 square-foot floorspace while busts of Caesar and numerous bronze nudes of Venus and Aphrodite frolic within a Dionysian-meets-museum setting. Three premium spirits tasting rooms and close to a half-dozen VIP room are throughout. Over at Christie’s Tempe, across the street from Arizona Mills Mall, ornate gold furnishings and Louis XIV style furniture dominate. Both are also big on bubbly, with individual champagne rooms and 75 high-end brands like Cristal, Dom Pérignon, and Taittinger ready to be popped. (The newest addition in Glendale, the old Pink Cabaret, was purchased in 2012 and a renovation is in the works to bring it in line with the rest of the empire.) And they also have dancers, too, all of which are model-quality and many from such far-flung continents as Europe and South America. There’s gotta someone to keep the money rolling in, right?
I haven't been to Christies since 2007. Back then it was incredible. I went back this past Saturday night 2-23-12 as part of a birthday party and what a disappointment. We decided during dinner to go and we called to find out what the cover would be and were told over the phone that it was 10 dollars each. Upon our arrival we were informed that it was actually 12 dollars and not 10 dollars. Nothing like a little bait and switch to start your night off. We asked if at the very least that the birthday girl could get in free..... no chance... she has to pay too.
So we all go in and as usual it is a beautiful well maintained establishment. But wow... the girls look like they got into a little too much of Walter White's Breaking Bad stash (crystal meth).... These women look like 75 pound skeletons with bolt on surgically enhanced breasts. If you like skin and bones then these are the girls for you. On top of all that these women were so tweaked on meth that they were all miserable. Seemed they didn't want to be there at all and they all had a sour puss on their face. The energy in all of their dances was severely lacking. The usual pestering for a lap dance was noticeably missing. Usually the girls are bugging you every minute or two for a dance but in the 3 and half hours we were there only two girls asked anyone in our group of 7 if they wanted a dance. Of course we declined due the gross skeleton factor. Although the fact they weren't bugging us turned out to be a positive thing. On a stranger note, the ladies we were with were getting into the music and were dancing.... suddenly they were told by the bouncers that they couldnt dance in the club because it is competition for the dancers. Not really.... the ladies in our group were much hotter than the dancers... LOL.
Now let's get to the beverages.... All I can say is wow!!!! 8 beers and one diet coke... SIXTY NINE DOLLARS !!!!! WTF... That's $8.62 per drink, quite a profit margin. Not to mention I foolishly opened a tab and am really quite certain that I only 5 beers but hey they said I had 8 and I really didn't want to argue about it. It's my own fault for opening a tab.
In closing I would not recommend this place unless you enjoy women who are so strung out on crystal meth that they look like skeletons and you like overpaying for grossly overpriced drinks. Our group will never return to this establishment.
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